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GH3 - Hash Notes
All runs start at 7:30pm unless otherwise advised

NOTES

Thought that while I’m on a roll I’d try for two lots of hash notes in a row.  This should not be seen as setting some kind of precedent and is no way any guarantee that they will be a regular fixture in the future.  Lets just play this one by ear shall we?

Trouble is though, with trying to do two lots of hash notes in quick succession means that I have no idea what to say in this opening bit.  Events have been a bit slack in the flat over the last month and apart from a load of grief at work there’s been nothing of note occurring.

Mind you, with problems that I’ve had with my PC you’re lucky to be getting any notes at all.  My PC seems to be a bit poorly at the moment and depending on what day of the week it is there seems to be a new problem.  Every now and then it’s very sluggish, certain programmes decide they won’t work properly and just recently it’s decided that whilst the computer knows there are two DVD drives on the tower, none of the programmes can recognise them.

I like to blame Apple and iTunes for this as they’re an easy target and it gives me an opportunity to vent anger and frustration toward a faceless corporation with no justification at all.  I’ve learned to distrust programmes that tell you there’s a better version that you can download, as it suggests that they realise the version you have and downloaded from before and could even have paid for is actually no good, was released too early and is full of bugs.  So I click on the update and half way through the thing crashes.  Sadly this leaves you in limbo with a programme that doesn’t work and no ability to undo all the changes you’ve made.  Great.

On the other hand maybe the PC is just reflecting it’s owner and is getting on a bit in years with bits and pieces starting to fall apart.  I came back from skiing a few weeks ago with a bad back.  Not sure how this happened though.  Could have been a week’s intensive skiing, could have been having to cart around heavy luggage on and off coaches or could have been that very drunken evening I have no recollection of.  Got over that just to sprain my ankle last week on the run that’s given me niggling grief all week.

Whatever next?

If anyone knows a good Doctor, preferably one who is computer literate, please pass details on to me.

On On
Deadloss

RUN FEES
Just a reminder from Hash Cash and the On Sec that if you’re not on direct debit or paying run fees on a regular basis you are required to pay £2 per run to cover all hash expenses.

There seem to be a number of people who turn up week after week and don’t pay anything at all.  We don’t want to name and shame you…..yet…..so will give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t know that you were due to pay or who to pay.  Please help us correct this situation by seeking out Tonto or any other member of the committee to make your donation.  Thanks.

!! WARNING  !!

Advance warning is given that there is an invasion of GH3 due very soon and it is only fair that you be given notice to prepare yourselves accordingly. Due to some lapse in security and very generous visa regulations, Frank ‘Iva’ Bigham will be returning to these shores on 16 May and is looking to come along to the hash. Some of you may not remember him, others won’t be able to forget him. Whichever camp you fall into its going to be the AGM run that night so please come along as we don’t want you to miss out on all the fun. If you feel you really need to, wear a disguise and maybe he won’t recognise you.

GH3 EVENTS

January 23rd - Burns Night Run

Following the Burn's Night Hash run, the 2012 Burn's Night Hash Bash will take place at The Talbot, Ripley GU23 6BB.

If you would like to participate in the GH3 'traditional' Burn's Night celebrations then this is what to do:

Please RSVP to f_burn@o2.co.uk (Doggystyle) as to whether you will be coming to the Burn's Night Bash by 17 January 2012. The meal will be Haggis, Mashed Potato and neeps and gravy and will also include the first drink at the bar. If you are a non-Haggis/vegetarian eater please make that clear on your reply. The cost will remain the same as last year £10 per head for paid up GH3 members and £15 for non-members.

By replying to f_burn@o2.co.uk (Doggystyle) to say that you would like to come, then you are agreeing to pay £10 (or £15 non-members) towards the cost of the meal. Once you have replied then an acknowledgement will be sent by email to confirm your place.

On On Doggystyle

Other Events

2012 SurreyHillsThreePeaks Challenge

Please see attachment from Caroline Heslop
Time to put the date in your diary and register for The 2012 SurreyHillsThreePeaks Challenge

Who: Family Event - everyone welcome including DOGS!
What:A charity walk covering your choice of 6 or 13 miles including spectacular scenery#
Where:Leith Hill, Holmbury Hill & Pitch Hill Meeting at: The W.I .Hall, Felday Glade, Holmbury StMary, RH5 6PG
When:Sunday 18th March 2012starting times from 9:30 am onwards
Why:Participants will be invited to make a donation to the charity before being issued with a map of the walk

Start times will be allocated on registration and will be staggered. The total distance of 13 miles should take approx 4-5 hours and the shorter route 2-3 hours Please register by email if you wish to take part: carriehes@gmail.com or by calling Caroline 01483 202162

Further Info: The walk will be divided into two stages and there is the option to take a shorter 6-mile trail. There will be refreshments, soup and homemade cakes available at the half-way point and again at the end. Please note that the event will take place whatever the weather, but please expect muddy conditions.

Surrey Hills Duathlon

I received the below from Paul Ward of Surrey Hills Duathlon Committee. If you are interested in the 2012 off road 10K described below then please reply directly to Paul. paul_ward1@mac.com

Surrey Hills Run / Surrey Hills Duathlon‏

Dear Sir / Madam

Please excuse the group email. This is going to running clubs and athletic societies in the immediate locality of the Surrey Hills.

In the early part of 2013 we (the Surrey Hills Duathlon Committee) will be launching the first of an annual series of duathlons based in the heart of the Surrey Hills. These will be off road and the format is likely to be 7k run / 15k bike / 7k run.

We are also investigating the feasibility of an off road race, again based in the Surrey Hill and it is for this reason I am writing.

From a personal perspective, I run 30-40k a week in the hills around Holmbury St Mary and it holds some of the best off road running I have done. I would like to organise an event in September / October 2012 but for this to happen we need to demonstrate an interest.

It is likely to be a 10k but if there is demand, we can organise a 1/2 marathon also.
Entrance fee is yet to be determined but is likely to be £20
We are a non profit organisation. All proceeds will go to local charities

If you have the time, could you forward to your membership and ask for their support.

I would be very grateful for any feedback about this idea (positive and negative) so we can deliver what the majority would like.

Please feel free to forward this email.

With best wishes,

Paul

Paul Ward
Surrey Hills Duathlon Committee

Receeeeeding Hareline      

Run 1348 14 March 2011 – What An Anchor, Sheepleas
Universally speaking none of us know where we are

In an area that has been hashed more times that the pack cares to remember, it was brave of What An Anchor to set his run over at Sheepleas and a curious pack turned up to see whether he could find any virgin territory or whether it would be the usual jaunt over the common and back.

Under the guidance of Birthing Blanket as RA, the pack welcomed Nick along as a virgin thereby giving at least one person a totally new part of the area to run round.

With the pack under control the hare stepped in and announced that there were some ups and downs, circles and roundabouts on the run tonight.  He also said that the pub was due to stop serving food at 9pm so there was next to no chance that anyone could eat tonight.  Shame.

With the pack barely out of the car park, G-Force was already having a go at me due to the poor showing on the notes.  Despite an assurance that she had received the e-mailed set the day before, she was disappointed that there hadn’t been an instant update on the website.  Using best diplomacy and diversionary tactics, I reminded her that this was not my area and she set off in pursuit of Mole.

On to the first check and with the hare giving absolutely nothing away, the pack was forced to check for itself.  Well, all apart from Doggystyle who was doing some sort of dainty dressage whilst waiting for the trail to be called on.  When it was, we found In The Bum already ahead of the pack at the third check waiting for everyone to catch up.  He claimed that this was due to natural skill and athleticism but may have had more to do with missing out the large loop after the second check.

As we moved on through the woods, the hare remembered that he should have given a warning about rabbit holes to the pack before they set off, although if anyone couldn’t see the rabbit holes that were in front of them that looked as if they had been excavated by bunnies driving mini diggers, they shouldn’t be out running at night.

Sadly the rest of the run was sort of lost as I got into an existentialist discussion with Ferret.  Having watched the latest episode of Wonders of the Universe by Professor Brian Cox he suggested that due to a finite number of protons and neutrinos within the Universe, it could be demonstrated using a deck of cards that there was a duplicate me within another galaxy who was identical in every detail.  Whilst this proved to lead onto some quantum revisionist geo-physical debate over the process of matter and the eternity of universal degradation, this was totally ruined by Ferret’s next statement that the moon was like a weeble.  Thankfully the calls of On In were heard and this conversation was mercifully shortened.

Down downs were awarded to Nick the virgin, What An Anchor for being far too polite and telling people how to avoid logs and mud on the run, Ferret & me for talking cobblers, Tonto for deciding that he could do a better run of Sheepleas and taking his own route and Glob for his discovery of £20 on the run.

The GM then stepped in and said that it was a good run, with nothing bad to say about the whole event.

On On Deadloss

Run 1349 – 21 March 2011 – Deepcut, Wurzel
Lies, damn lies and hashing

The hare promised a nice, short, flat run.  We don’t trust the hare.  Wurzel is well known for lying through his back teeth, especially when directing people up trails he knows are false or wrong or for saying that its only five minutes back to the car park.  Tonight wasn’t promising to be any better with the only cryptic advice being that the pack should use their head on the run and keep on flour.

With another virgin on the run, Jane who was dragged out unwillingly by Spotted, the pack set off in expectation of something great.  Underdeveloped’s mind was on other things though, as he was referring very animatedly to marathons, even though they changed name years ago and have long been Snickers.

The trail started out well and within a short time we were out of the local housing estate and into the woods, where we spent a great deal of time generally tittering about, although this time we weren’t hassled by squaddies dressed up and trying to be trees.  Despite the hare’s pre-run advice there were some bloomin’ big hills that he set us running up and down.  Well all bar Birthing Blanket, who seemed to have some sort of charm and allure over him, as she was being given one short cut after another.  Her comments that she was merely looking after the virgin didn’t really cut much ice.

A big loop down a hill only to come straight back up led the pack to the hare and assembled knitting circle where they were standing next to a check, cackling merrily and telling us all to keep running.  A few choice responses were though of but not said out loud.

Nashit was deep in conversation extolling the delights of exhibitionist women who will take all their clothes off at the drop of a thong, but also tried to affirm that he wasn’t a sexist in any way, shape or form.

Moving on and Knee Trembler was noting local landmarks with a sign over a doorway saying that it was the Basingstoke Canal, although as Bodyshop pointed out it was actually a building so couldn’t be the canal.  No-one loves a literalist.

Fat Cat wasn’t having the best of runs and became a tumbling tosser.  Not sure how he managed this as he was wearing a full length luminous yellow jacket that was giving off more glow than a lighthouse.  At the very least it was blinding all those unlucky enough to get a full blast of the stripes back in their faces.

The trail wended its way on through some pretty obscure pathways that Ferret almost became a second tumbler, only to recover with aplomb.  I put this down to being distracted by a rather foul stench that suggested either a very badly backed up drain or else the corruption of high ranking military officials living the rich life off the taxpayer’s money.

As the trail moved on, the hare berated us for going the wrong way – which always seemed to be the point of hashing to me – and then started to give very clear directions as to which way we were to go from a check.  This led back to the housing estate and the On In almost dead on the hour mark, although Tonto seemed to have been there for a while and was sitting in the back of his car with a large ring binder, as if doing some homework.

Down downs were given to Jane the virgin, Bodyshop for not noticing whether his daughter and granddaughter were still at home, Wally for flashing his torso Chippendale style, Dead Heat for a bit of style wearing pearls on the run, Fat Cat for his sartorially elegant jacket and Glob for threatening to throw people over a barbed wire fence.

The GM stepped in to say that although there were hills when the hare promised there wouldn’t be, there were some handy short cuts through wire fences that proved to be handy, so it wasn’t too bad after all.

          On On Deadloss

Run 1350 – 28 March 2011 – Lite Bite, Addlestone
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover….apart from this one

It wasn’t the most promising start to a run ever.  Having travelled through a picturesque business estate, the pub came into view sandwiched between s small stretch of water and a half demolished office block that looked like Beirut on a bad day.  Menacing overtones were all around with even the ducks on the water quacking like they all had ASBO’s.

There was a bit of pre-run debate as to whether torches would be needed, with Cinthia assuring everyone that as it was so urban and built up there would be plenty of street lights to show people the way.

In the Bum was more concerned whether we were standing in the right place as he could see lots of people that looked like hashers on the other side of the pub from where he was.  Shame that he was actually looking at a mirror in the pub and could only see his own reflection.  Glob was having more serious problems, having become locked into a never ending conversation with G Force about washing and wishing that there was a bowl of water handy that he could shove his head in to get away from the noise.

The hare rocked up to the pack just before 7.30 appearing to have just finished setting the run in his 4x4.  Not a good sign, though it did hold up the run long enough for one visitor, 2 F*kt from St Louis to get here, having travelled all the way from London and barely making his connection.

The hare announced that there was some major shiggy if you could find it and suggested that we stay on the run or else we would be on our own.

Setting off from the pub the pack sped off round the edge of a small lake only to double back the way we’d already come and end up come albeit on the other side of the canal.  Wurzel then gave a discourse about how it wasn’t a canal; but a navigation.  I’m still none the wiser as to what the difference was I’m not sure as I sort of zoned out about half way through.  Mind you, could have been having some interference from Just Jonathan’s butt, as his iPod was down the back of his running trousers and was playing music to all who could hear it.

Moving on and the hare started to get bored at the checks, pointing the pack in the right direction even before we’d had a chance to check it out properly.  Mind you, the pack did need it, as moving into Weybridge there was a distinct lack of urgency checking the trail.  Even when we went past my old flat and did a dodge through Homebase car park the pack was all over the place with the hare again having to resort to pointing us in the right direction.

Two miles in and the Popeye anchors appeared on the run even though he hadn’t been seen for over a mile and at the time was running in the opposite direction.  I’m not sure whether they’re actually set by Popeye or whether people are copying him and trying to lay the blame on him.  Any confessions?

As the trail was almost back in the trail went off on a bit of a tangent out past Hamm Court with warning signs of an armed gamekeeper.  Didn’t say what he was armed with.  My guess was bad language and a bit of a hostile attitude.  At least as we ran through land that he may have been patrolling I hope that’s all he had.  Passing through a few fields and we found the one piece of shiggy of the whole run – all two footsteps of it, with a few hashers trying to shortcut through barbed wire fences and sharp brambled hedgerows.  You would have thought that they’d know better by now.

Back in via Meadowlands Park, which I was assured is not trailer trash but respectable and quite expensive static homes we were treated to one last tour round the business park before reaching the pub.

Alas with no hash beer we weren’t able to have a circle and were destined never to find out what the GM thought of the run.  Maybe just as well.

On On  Deadloss

This page was last updated by Mole on 3/2/12

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